Faith Rituals
Many religious traditions include beliefs, such as angels and the concept of Heaven or an afterlife. Some people may find comfort in these concepts, but others may find these statements are illogical.
The more you know about what to expect at rituals, the greater chance you will have a meaningful experience. It may be useful to have a plan in place in case you become overwhelmed at the ritual. Sometimes just knowing there’s a safe space to go to or a ride home available can help you cope better with these social experiences.
Here’s a brief summary of different faith rituals and a printable guide for each to help you prepare. Click a download button to view, print, download, and share a guide.
Protestant Faith
Protestants’ practices can vary widely, but rituals often offer the reminder of life after death through Jesus, usually involving renewing baptismal promises and through sharing communion. Themes of the steadfastness of God’s love, of grace as a gift we all receive, and the promise of resurrection can be important. You may wish to participate in as many of the rituals as you feel comfortable with. And, as is true for Roman Catholics, hearing familiar prayers and songs as well as themes of love, promise, and presence can be very important.
Secular Rituals
Being non-religious doesn’t mean forgoing ritual at the time of death. In fact, having a ceremony of some kind may be useful in helping to mark the passage of the person’s life. Focusing on memories of the person who has died and having mementos from their life are concrete ways to honor them and you may choose to help plan the rituals, participate in them, or not. Themes of lifting one another up in grief, as well as remembering the person who died and how they impacted family and friends can be helpful themes to explore.
Roman Catholic Faith
Rituals are an important part of Catholicism, and you may wish to be included in them all. You may be present for the Sacrament of the Sick (also called “last rites”), may light candles at Mass, may hold the beads of the Rosary, and be present for funerals. Hearing familiar prayers and songs may create a sense of predictability and comfort—or they may not.
Jewish Faith
For Jewish people, burial happens soon after death. Families may come together to sit shiva after the funeral, as they are comforted by friends and families who often bring food. If you choose to participate in shiva, you may want to have a plan for taking breaks, as all the socializing may feel overwhelming. Shiva can also provide a wonderful opportunity for you to share a story or memory of the person who died. As with many other rituals during the COVID-19 pandemic, virtual shivas became very common and may likely continue, as a way to include more family and friends. Lighting a candle for immediate family and on the anniversary (yahrzeit) or visiting the cemetery and placing a small stone on the grave are part of Jewish customs. One year later there is also the unveiling when the headstone is placed at the gravesite. Focusing on themes of God’s promises, the strength of the Jewish community, and the lessons learned from the deceased can be helpful.
Islamic Faith
For people of the Islamic faith, burials happen very soon after death, most often in the location where the death occurred (even if that is far from home). You may choose to be involved in all aspects of the process, from helping to wash and prepare the body, to draping white cloths, to attending the graveside service. Themes of closeness to Allah, the presence of angels, and receiving blessings in paradise may be particularly helpful.